| i love you. and you don't even know it. i try to hide it, and it becomes oh the much more obvious.
Rjd2, one of the best nights in my life. me, benamo and rhys got rummy at my house, then we went to the city. along the lines we were meant to catch up with turner, but i don't know what happened there. when we got there, we were so stupidly drunk, and then there was god......we all had pills, and i don't think i've been that happy in a long time.
Jimmy came over from melbourne, and that just made things better.
last sunday was the bdo. i cannot thank systems, slipknot, atmosphere and most of all hatebreed, enough for coming. it was grand. once again me, benamo and rhys got drunk, went there, and had ourselves such a good time.
so i end this.
with a goodbye and good luck, for what i've read you all need some thing that this won't give you. i've found it. and i hate it, but it brings me happieness.....
and a thank you, to nick and everyone else who i never see, but think about sometimes.
i miss no one except julian.
i hate no one except no one
i love no one except him.
i'm sorry that i love you. but you made it so easy for me to gain respect and admiration for you. one day this infatuation will pass. but it's been with me for nearly a year now. i don't know what to do except revell in it's childish glories.
a sigh.
another sigh. | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment   |
| | I slapt Stuey across the face with a whole salmon. It seemed funny at the time,. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| What a cracked up night again. Ben hung out with Sari, Rhys and me.
rhys was really pickled when he picked me up. he did a burn out round the round-about and lost control. i think there's no damage, but me and ben were quite frightened.
work didn't let me go to machine head. Some cunt rag stole my bag with my uniform and my knives in it. please, give it back. they cost me over $500, i mean, please? GIVE THEM BACK TO ME.
i leave Etto in a week to go work for marconis.
i burnt the fish last night. or was that the night before? (nb. do not drink excessive amounts of alcoholic beverages at work, as you'll end up burning the fish, or similar foods.) then again, if you work outside of a kitchen, you won't have that problem.
inalee, shut up.
my finger is no longer bleeding, the wound is only slightly infected, so it doesn't smell that bad anymore. if you see me and i smell, it's my finger. my fucking finger, no any other bodily parts. damn you rhys.
weekend pilling, and a very emo boy who called me all the time. for the first time i'm happy with the situtation, but he's calling me too often. i like breathing, so give me some space. and don't take it the wrong way, and no you haven't done anything wrong, and no i don't hate you, and for fuck's sake, please stop calling to either
a) appologise, just incase somethings wrong
b) checking up on me
it's getting too much for me.
we went out to the rosemount, don't ever buy a kebab from the shop across the road from it, they're so damn dirty and taste like ass. like, actually taste of ass.
nic's been gone for week, he's with jimmy in melbourne. they've been rouding it up, and i miss them. nic's coming back tomorrow, and i'm buying jimmy a ticket to be here for my birthday. 2 weeks guys. isn't it spiffy????
werd to the vege show your mommy gave me last night.
and werd to the complete group; deeko baby, rhys(the), Nichamoncha, croutons and me. i don't know what my 2:00am's would be without you or crack.
sleeping for 20 hours rocks. love it. rock it. werd. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| lately i've been too busy to write. now i just can't be assed to.
a run down; 1) "amputated" quater of my left index finger at work last week. Getting compo, very exciting
2) My house got run through on saturday night. $300, my set of work knives, and more got stolen.
3) I've been seeing him again. And I haven't been happier. I like happiness I think.
4) I got another job as chef. It's at Marconi's.
5) Sarah(and Nic) moved in
6) I got my tax return back
7) I cough so bad that I vomit
and that's pretty much it. stuff happened inbetween. But we'll save that for later, maybe.
n.b: Russian punk is shite, and toe nails are apparently a necessity in life, as is brushing teeth. Damn, I've obviously been missing out. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i hate you.
please don't call me anymore. let me make it easy for you. don't expect me to turn around and take it all back this time. this is what i want. i'm not going to fall over myself to explain myself or even my actions.
you take me like the bitch i am, and molest me. and me, being the stupid dick, bends over and offers my ass to be raped.
don't.
just don't do this to me anymore. you do my head in.
we're not in a fucking relationship. so i'm trying to keep it as is. but it's harder than i thought it was. i don't want to hang out with you anymore.
you shit me.
i don't trust you.
i'm scared of you.
my emotions are tied in with you. and i don't like that. not one bit.
take this away.
and don't call me anymore. because i won't be talking to you. or at least, i'll fucking try my hardest not to. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| Sari and Nic moved in. It's quite the full house at the moment. It's a wierd situation, I love them both to death, but they seem to come into my room every morning at like 0800am and ask me for bus money. Shut up slut, I don't want to get up and give you my money, just so you can go to work on time. Go pimp your mother for the crack that you so desperately want. Anyway, that's beside the point.
I got my hands on vallium again. I've been quite the smacked out slut. But tonight I got 8 boxes of food from work, as well as 3 boxes of nangs. So we ate food, ate the rest of my vallies, and we're all merrily drinking away.
I think I'm a bit pickled.
Chance came over to see me last night or the night before. That was quite cool. And I saw Maxi Taxi again. He's going harder than a hard on. If that makes any sense. You know. This imformation is really fucking boring.
So yeah. Rhys seems to make himself at home here as well. But he's always quite welcome here, as long as he brings weed. I smell of work.
I've decided that this thing with Phil is too full on for me. It scares me how much I like him. So I'm going to keep my distance and stay away from him. Sounds like the better plan than...yesahhhh...
Shut up.
well. I'm all out of energy to write coherrant bullshit. Dribble dribble.
goopd night my dears.
Analee is my newest aquired name
oh. Me and Aimee got a deftones and a tool poster for the kitchen. It looks quite the coolest kitchen ever. | | comments: Leave a comment |
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emilholburn's journal